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| The invite that sparked my curiosity |
Most of us in the secular world have been exposed, to some degree, through media, school and day to day life to mainstream religions. Most of us can recite parables passed on by Jesus or give a brief overview of Passover, but how many of us know about religions that aren't taught in schools or presented negatively by the mainstream media? Scientology falls into both these categories and, as such, I would be the first to admit that my knowledge on the area is slim. What I do know has been pieced together from hearsay and what I have read in the papers and, as previously mentioned, the reviews have not been too kind. I didn’t realise that, not only is Scientology alive in the UK it is also, maybe more surprisingly alive in Dorset.
My adventure started when my girlfriend brought home a slip offering 'Free Scientometric Testing' at our local Scientology offices. I was slightly curious and the events that occurred later that evening helped make my mind up on whether I should accept the invite; I tweeted a picture of the invite and was interested to hear that one of my friends had done the test some time ago, saying I should reject the opportunity for fear of 'brainwashing'. How serious she was on this point I'm still unsure but brainwashing seemed to be a common worry from a lot of people. Still searching for unbiased accounts of Scientology I tweeted Jon Ronson, more in hope than actually receiving a response, asking the best place to find unbiased information on the religion. He stated that it was almost impossible to find unbiased accounts as you 'either believe Hubbard was the great man they say or you believe he was a fantasist'. After a bit of back and forth we decided to put a vote to twitter to determine if I should go; The reaction was phenomenal. I received around 50 responses ranging from people seeming quite nonchalant about the whole thing offering a casual 'YES' to the not quite so casual 'No bloody way! Absolutely not!.' Those anti my attendance cited reasons such as brainwashing, if I considered myself susceptible then I needed to stay away. I didn't consider myself susceptible but then one doesn't really know this until tested. The flurry on twitter also resulted in (cue massive name drop) a following from Louis Theroux!
The response from tweeters also confirmed that most people's 'knowledge' in the subject is, like mine, made up from various unreliable sources. There where mentions of lizards from space, Thetans from Naboo and Xenu. These do sound absurd when mentioned in the cold light of day but then so does most theology of mainstream religion. I was starting to wonder if the only difference between accepted mainstream religion and Scientology was time; how would Scientology be viewed in 2000 years?
After the twitter exploits I decided to give them a call. My first impression over the phone was very positive; the lady I spoke to was incredible polite, even complementing me on my name and didn't seem to mind at all that my knowledge of the subject was pretty poor. We arranged a date for the following Saturday.
The building was unassuming, I was expecting a grandiose manor like a lot of the pictures I have seen. In fact the building was so unassuming I was stood outside of it for 15 minutes before realising. Both inside and out a standard office block which remained quite unspectacular as I entered the corridor. Red, white and blue bunting ready hung ready for jubilee weekend and a notice board arranging incredibly mundane events such as afternoon tea. It wasn't quite what I was expecting.
I went through to the testing room and the whole place was transformed into something aligned more closely with my preconceptions. There was a huge bronze bust of L. Ron Hubbard manning the door as you enter, charts decorating the otherwise plain walls, a desk with flash computer on it and a chair for the host. A widescreen TV with a DVD player were nestled in one corner accompanied by a beaten leather sofa and giant trophies were stacked up on top of bookshelves filled with books written by Hubbard himself. I was shown to a table surrounded by more books and more charts. Also mounted high on the wall was a huge plaque with the motif: 'Golden Age of Knowledge', featuring some curious symbols; a pyramid, something that looked like a microphone and a couple of triangles with what looks like a snake wrapped between them. I understand the pyramid and possibly the microphones but the triangle-snake thing is still lost on me. I was passed a form requesting my details, at first I was hesitant; I didn't see the need to fill in my address and home phone number but was put at ease after she told me that I could just put email address if I liked. The next form is called an 'Oxford Capacity Analysis' and is made up of around 60 questions with the choice of 'Agree, Disagree or Not sure'. The questions ranged from the obvious 'Do you like to control situations' to the less obvious 'Do you like children' - apparently asking about the relevance of the latter question highlights some of my inner issues. After I worked my way through some confusing questions littered with double negatives I was asked if I would like to take part in an IQ test, which I happily agreed to do. The IQ test again contained 60 multiple choice questions. I haven't done an IQ test for many years and I am well aware of their faults but this test did seem particularly easy. Questions such as 'Which is the odd one out; A) up and down B) near and far C) wet and dry D) lazy and slow. Now, I'm not a genius but I did find this test quite easy although a few maths questions did throw me. I ran out of time as well, I’m sure she moved the clock around because that half and hour flew by.
Then the results... I was taken in to a room that had more Scientology paraphernalia and sat down at the desk. Surprisingly both our chairs was the same; I expected her chair to be higher and of much better quality, as is usually the case in this scenario. We discussed the IQ test results unsurprisingly, due to the ease of the test, I achieved an above average score. She was incredibly flattering about this, similarly with my personality test results. According to the test I am stable, confident, aggressive (a good thing in the Scientology world) and quite responsible. So far, so good. Then we discussed the negative parts of my test; this would determine the best introduction course for me to attend to help me achieve my goals. My happiness was below average ,something she would like to target for improvement. She reasoned that I was an over thinker, analysing everything and leading me to over think negative situations. Therefore my course would be tailored to ‘free up my thinking’. The test also stated that I have trust issues and that I can often be withdrawn, A result that she claims to have predicted as I seemed wary to give anything away to her. I assume she had judged this on my reluctance to give my house address (I just didn't want spam mail), possibly over-analysing on her behalf. I was also labelled as overly critical of things. The test highlighted my wavering happiness and lack of trust as something that needs to be addressed instantly.
Although a lot of the things she and the test stated seemed true to me, I think they would have applied to most people. The wording of some of the questions will make it impossible for anyone to have every point in the 'Acceptable under perfect conditions' and she did spend a lot of time fishing for more information, like a clairvoyant. After inaccurately implying that I ‘must have suffered a terrible loss‘, when I informed her I had not, she proposed that I was withdrawn and not properly in touch with my emotions (something she would help resolve). Even when focusing on my negative points she remained very flattering.
After we discussed my results I took it upon myself to ask some more pressing questions; I asked about the human race originating from another planet and about lizards and Xenu. She denied all of these similarly to how a priest would respond to questions about the reality of the Da Vinci Code. Of course you would expect denial to the slightly stranger practises of their religion however mainstream religions hammer home the stranger parts of their religion as it is generally what makes them unique. What would she have to gain from covering up huge parts of the religion? She was adamant that this is not a belief of Scientology and 'unless they tell you on your 21st anniversary about these things', it would remain that way. She believes that tales of Lizards and Aliens come from people who are vaguely aware of Hubbard's science fiction work and have confused these stories with actual Scientology beliefs. She believes that certain corporations have an agenda against them; spreading these stories to discredit anything Scientologists have to say. When I asked about the type of companies; the blunt answer was pharmaceutical. She continued to explain the reason these companies have an agenda against them is because Scientologists are firmly believe that drugs, such as anti-depressants, do not fix the root of a problem and encourage people to try their training methods, thereby reducing consumption of pharmaceutical products. She became quite animated when telling me about a baby that was on Prozac, also giving Kurt Kobain tragic tale as an example of why children shouldn't be on Ritalin . Scientologists believe that counselling and lectures can really solve health problems, as opposed to treating them with drugs.
There is a spiritual element to the religion, there tends to be an emphasis on the eternal soul, when I explained that I am not in the least bit spiritual she was quick to state that Scientology is interdenominational. They have Muslims, Jews, Atheists all taking part and she was herself a Christian. Neither do you have to declare yourself a Scientologist to study and there is no converting or initiation. I had heard previously that once you are 'in' then you are not to socialise with 'outsiders' and she again dismissed this a rumour.
We then discussed the charts. A huge sun bleached chart hung next to the doorway of the test room, the chart is made up of a number of levels which are known as the bridges. The whole process is known as the 'Bridge to total Freedom' and contrary to popular conception, you do not have to pay to cross the bridge or to move up the levels and donations are asked for but there is no minimum payment. The chart itself has the snappy title of 'Classification, Gradation and Awareness Chart'. The left hand side of the chart was the 'training' section, showing courses and seminars aimed at giving you the tools to help you up the 'Processing' side of the chart. The idea is that section 1 of the training is completed before moving on to the processing and it is encouraged to help train others up the scale. The ultimate reward is reaching the top of the chart or 'Clear'. With phrases such as ‘Clear of the reactive mind’ you can see how some people might think brainwashing is involved. I asked what happens when you reach the top ,her response was a slightly hesitant; 'You fall off again?'. She wasn't sure. This is what I find fascinating about Scientology, you can see the chart and what you need to do to progress; the chart is filled with buzz words that sounds alluring but don't really mean much. Nobody really knows what's at the top unless you have been there. If you haven't been to the next level you don't know what's around the corner and this is intriguing. Her joke that they might teach you something different after 21 years could actually be a reality. She wouldn't confirm how much she had donated or at least what the average donation was. What was clear is that after 20 years of invested time and money, she knows as little as I do about what is around the corner. I asked her what level she was at and it turns out this isn't something that is spoken about at any level. She did later go on to say that someone would expect after 25/30 years to be about half way up the chart. So I suspect many people don't make it to the top but that doesn't seem to be the point. The point she made is all about self improvement both emotionally and mentally, she has claimed to have improved her IQ by 40 points since the beginning, and for some people this support network can prove to be very useful.
I would be naive to think that her flattery was personal and was because she liked me; although I think she did. She used to be a sales executive before working full time for the church and she sold the brand very well. She was well versed in the rhetoric of the church and stuck to the party line strongly. Is that a bad thing? She is very passionate about the church and it has helped her through some tough emotional times and she personally has helped many troubled people (drug addicts and people who have suffered various forms of abuse). It would also be naive to believe that stories of insubordination at higher levels does not have some truth. I can see why companies might have an agenda against them; the religion is growing, the number of participants has doubled since 2004. Possibly growing in power, most people know about their influence in Hollywood and this can lead to the question of how long until Scientologists become able to influence politics? This is where the pharmaceutical companies and many others, could be potentially threatened.
Overall my time was rather underwhelming; the building didn't have much of an effect, there was no revealing of aliens or lizards, no brainwashing attempts, no hard sell of Hubbard's books and no 'strange' people. She was very helpful, kind and open to my thoughts, ideas and questions.
It's easy to be critical of all religions, including Scientology but when doing so maybe we should be a bit more rational in our arguments, that said I have only met the one Scientologist so who knows. She could have been lying to me completely to get me on side; the rumours of crazy ongoings at a higher level might be true but when does one stop being objective and start being sceptical for sceptic sake?
The one thing that I can confirm was true is she was incredibly welcoming and nice to me and that in itself deserves some respect.
